Monday, April 5, 2010

Random thoughts causing distress and sprinklings of bucket list reminders

This will be disordered like my mind....a view into my mind, sorry about it.

Every time a cyclist rides past me my heart bleeds a little, spring has sprung so I wonder how I have any heart left. It's probably worse this year than any other, maybe 'cause I don't have classes and have more time to brood. Why, oh parental units, why? And why proud nine year old me, why???

The jewelery ad on Central ave and 5th is taunting me and one of these days I may commit my first really illegal act when I go up there and tear it down. How can women stand being continually cheapened with stupid ads that say the only reason you may be upset with your partner is basically 'cause he hasn't bought you any jewelery.

I have decided I am transportation-ally challenged and by 30 I must learn to ride them all, skateboards to planes and all the embarrassing ones in between. Haha, we'll see. Oh, procrastination please let me be, we've had a good run and can now path ways. I'm so tired of being all passion and longing, no action.

When I'm having one of my leisurely walks and I sing even though I have no earphones on (that can be seen mwahahaha) or I have an empty bottle and practice drumming on my thighs or palm, do people think I have a screw or two loose? Or does everyone do this and I just fail to notice 'cause I'm too self-absorbed?

It's been months, stop it you don't stand a chance!

I hate these stupid scars, will they ever not be there?

If I paid monthly for Rhapsody, World of Warcraft, Corepower Yoga, *there's more I can't remember right now* on a scale from 1-10 how stupid would I be?

Where can I find an easel that's not $30+, it's not like I feel like I'm an artist or anything I'd just like to let out stuff. Maybe I should make one, but how would I go about it? Google!!!

I really am past due for a 2 week/month long facebook embargo.

I'm frigging tired of feeling like Dupree in my own apartment, am I being unreasonable to expect that it'll be a bit more half and half. After all, I hear the other apartment is much bigger than this one so wouldn't it make sense to stay there more???

I'm thoroughly ashamed of the way I've handled this skydiving thing. Before college it was to be one of the first things I had to do. I had signed up to join the skydiving club at Exeter U then I changed my mind and came here. No club but lots of places to jump. Decided to ignore the fact that tandem equipment aren't regulated by the USPA unlike AFF equipment and jump tandem rather than AFF 'cause it's cheaper and would take less time so I have less of an excuse. Then February birthday '09 was when it was for sure going to happen and I told pretty much everyone and got other people to say they'd jump with to make sure it did. Then Beth told me it'd be wiser to jump in the spring/summer which made sense to me. But alas, it is now April 2010 and I've been planning this for over four freaking years!! The annoying thing is I'm really not at all scared when I think about it, it's the stupid money and my stupid procrastination problem. Yet another thing that has still not happened.

Stop it Muna you're not that girl, even when I was 16 I was not that girl. I was the one who told other girls that teenagers couldn't fall in love and they were just being silly infatuated beings (I had obviously not yet developed the art of diplomacy, any wonder why most of my friends were boys back then and I was miserable at a girls' boarding school). What is wrong with me!?!

When I say I'm not sure I want to marry, have kids etc. do I think that for me or am I trying to negate society's idea of what I should be. 'Cause if it's the latter, I am still letting society control me.

Will i ever take to something as soon as I start learning, have the teacher say I'm a natural and then proceed to be the best at it. Will I, Will I? 'Cause I'd like to, just one thing. I promise not to be cocky, it's not in me. Or maybe it's not been in me so far 'cause I've never been the best at anything hmmmm? Also, could that thing be bass drums pretty please.

Will anyone ever completely get me? Will I ever let anyone completely get me?

I would really like to go climb something, it's been too long.

I would really like to drink something sweet, I wonder what's in my fridge.

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